DZX Adventures

August 2nd 2015
We knew the mission was bull shit.

Continuing attacks from orcs. Kill le orcs. Get to stank town. Talk to “head” person. Crops died a month ago, livestock missing, bad bad bad. Faces rapped up. Scent coming from the ground. They have caves. Sent some people prior. Never came back. There is also well. Get to use abandoned Inn. Go to well. It’s hallow. Go to Inn and sleep. Take shifts watching over caves n stuff.

Up during Floa shift, animals on farm near plateau (smelly place) become unrest. Wake up others and head towards it. Find kobolds taking cow. We follow them towards caves. At corn field we get ambushed. Kill a few, rest run away. Tell mayor about it.
Head out down river. Find waterfall at plateau drains into river. We found cows. Try to get out cows. Nope. Going to get up wall. Nope. They come down we attack. “Glory for Golgarax!” We kill some, and break gate. Give up on cows. Climb up waterfall and all make it up!

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June 1st 2015
I don’t sell houses.

Enchantress was with Fruzzle. She grabs metal item to hid from evil group. We go back and rest and take safe route. Mageris comes to us with stones they illusion our bodies. We can appear as any human race with similar body structure. Fuzz man gets scales(Jeff Goldbloom), old man becomes kitten (Burt Renalds), avatar becomes elf dude(Orlando Bloom) and ogre becomes Shaq(Hasslehoff). Band of Thieves. We decide to take quick way up through Fruzzle’s house and we can use it again. Hern goes to get new weap, Rein and Ed go scope out the house and Floa goes around town to get news. Near by town, Valanar, has a curious problem. The town has taken on an awful scent. We hear about our escape. People have been or are inside. We decide to see the bay-leaf again. No reason. See realitor, guards been in house. We head to stinky town.

Grabing horses and magic nose plugs, we head off. People say crops are bad and yellowish haze has appearing. We encounter bad guys orcs.

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May 31st 2015
Do the most you can do without doing anything.

Rein pulls down levers and opens one door. Rein pulls down more levers and opens another door. We find another marble. Yay all marbles got! Figured out which goes on which. Floa beams a red orb green and the column shakes and moves. The center opens. We opens the door and see the Halfling chained up. Skeletons pop out and time to fight!

We meet our 4 armed friends again. We get the first one by Rein is in bad shape. We asplode the second one we all get boned. We gang up on the wraith. Freakin dude smashes our awesome lamp (noooo!) but we blow him up. REBEL UP! We get the gurl down and talk wif her.

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May 13th 2015
You can’t poop your way out of an outhouse.

We see big guys and zombie in open area while we were surrounded by stone and itense darkness. Hern throws javlin at zombeh and it and the big thing run through portals. Another zombie pops out of a door next to us. We kill it. Rieny get bored and goes through the door to meet the big guy but gets bopped in the butt. Hern follows him but gets hit as well. They both come out with lots less blood. We huddle near the portal and smash the next one that comes out. No more come out so we go in after them. We knock out the other small ones. Floa pushes the big one off the edge with a helpful nudge from Hern. Biggin falls but lands back to the center. He face checks Ed after Ed stated his choice words. Using everything she could, Floa revived the old man we continued the beat down. We team up on fatty and splatter him. Strolling into another room we expose of the rest of the minions and we can finally rest after falling into this nightmare.

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April 14th 2015
Touch Butts

2nd to last room has room with door at the end. Men trample through and open MORE doors to reveal wraiths. Greeeeeeat. They all get wacked, but the ghosts get knocked down easily. Unfortunately, we get ambushed by bug bastards. Fluffy hits one of the bugs and it begins to rust. The monster eats Herns new sword. Uh oh. Thankfully Ed clears them out. We whack on the last guy and old man just blows it up. Hern obliterates the bug things body and ressadoom pours out which is worth the same as the sun sword, whew! Open other one to reveal ressadoom 1500 and Hern takes it. Ed picks up a GLOOORB with lightning in it.

We switch out items for bone, scale and stuff. Place blue dragon orb and go to Pelor door. Floa gets on Grim’s shoulders and looks up at the eye. She puts in the locket and turns the key. Door unlocks! Reimy pushes door and we find another red orb with fire in it. We try place with lever. Lever huuuuuuuurts. Grim just smashes the door. Reveals tougher door with 5 levers. Le sigh~ We try portal. Hern sticks arm through and cant get it out. We tie him and he goes through. He gives us the all clear so we all hop

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Plays from 2/17 - 3/17 HOLY SHIT

Play-through on 02/17/2015 – EPISODE: 6 foot, 7 foot, 8 foot HUT

Short rest after rat fight. Sneak past rat nest. Enter circular house thing with stairways on both sides. Ed and Hern see the tall lanky man. Man thinks he’s cool as he gets lifted away. 2 bugbears left. 2 more bugbears come out. Ed didn’t move with group but zapped most of the burrs. One burr threw stuffs but eventually joined us. Floa gets hit a lot, but doesn’t phase her. Ed cleans up and we take short rest in big circle room. Nothing found. Put bodies on levers, and went up elevators. Up on platform. Go down ladder. Big oak door, still not yellow though. Open door to casim under hearken fell to sunken city.
King of Chickens get people to tell us where yellow door is. It is in slummers lane. We find an inn but no clean shower. Set up watch anyway. Something was coming through the vents during Hern’s and Floa’s watch, but nothing came out.

Play-through on 03/03/2015 – Who else but Ed?
Buy stoofs and go to slummers lane to look for yellow door. Go up onto house roof through tunnel. Beggar guy comes and bothers Reign, and another kicks Ed. Ed gets mad and quills the poor bastard. Floa heals poor bastard and condemns Ed. Continuing on, we witness an elf stabbing a gnome. We try to help gnome when Carian Crawler falls out of the ceiling. Initiate fight! More spawn around us. We attack the first a bit. Reign jumps off and smashes it. Spiders come out to hit Ed and Floa. Ed finishes off the first crawler. One of the crawlers crawl up and grab Ed, while the other grabs and drags Floa. First Hern was succumbed to poison then it was Ed and Floa can’t recover as well. Reign flys again to smash spiders. Everything is dead and we all save from the poison, finally.
Gnome MAN we save thanks us and opens door to the YELLOW DOOR, hurray! Knock-knock. Dwarf with fine robes, opens door. (Fruvin Loyalar) Floa look deep into her mind and discovers she doesn’t know a thing. The place we are in is for helping the homeless. We meet the guy to put us in the sewer in the first place. Dwarf knows of our situation. He offers to help us. Some people are impersonating us. Rumors say pieces of an artifact have been activated. Offers us to cloak us with an illusionist. We have to find Lady Mageris. She was last known exploring an abandoned temple of Palor. Circlet of Battle was given to Floa. Onwards towards magic!

03/1/2015 – PATRICK ST. DRINK STUFF GREEN CLOVER DAY SOMETHING BEER
We take rest in “town.” Dog and tall man go drink. Wiz dude finds out about temple. People stopped going, think it’s cursed. Dwarf man can let us stay at his places. Dwarf gave us directions. We sleeps. We head out. We go further underground after 5 hours we arrive.
We see huge metal double doors with Palors symbol on front. Reiny opens door, food smells come out. Dinner table is laid out with food, drink, and candles lit. Two doors on the back wall. Doors leads out to curved hallway that circles and chest in middle. We turn towards the left. Giant door on circle place with lock. Doors on left down curved hallway, and against column we will see a stone dragon, which looks like it should hold something with a pedestal in front. We continue down hallway with another dragon statue. ENCOUNTER.
Wraiths ghouls and zombies, oh my. They gang up on Ed, oh no! Floa saves Ed, hurray! Reim knocked down, no! Floa saves Reim, woohoo! Floa BLASTS THE BITCHES UP. She shuts up the wraith and SHIT DIES (Ed kinda helps too.) We take short rest, oh my Palor.
Biggen banged on door and we heard jingling (Chains perhaps?). Ed opens wooden chest. Pieces of armor and weapons in it along with pendent of Palor with keyhole and key. We open door to the first right. Pedestal with fire orb in room. Floa distincts which dragon statue is a red dragon. Fluffy puts red orb on red dragon. We open next door to right to find rectangle room with door at end with levers next to it. Leave lever room to go to next. Nice room with rug. Set of doors on back with no handles, they have murals on them. Bottom of door has hills and ppl, middle of the door left has moon other has sun, top has deities. Written on top says, “Those loyal to Palor need only touch his eye.” Hern touches sun and sun indent comes out.

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EPISODE: PIPES, POOPS, AND PISS; ALL THE WAY DOWN.
PLAY on 01/20/2015

Two idiots get dragged to church to heal.
Old man gets handed gold after losing it all. Follows others to Bahamut church. Drawf with no arm appears walks up to him. Asks them to come to join the fighters guild tomorrow. Floa shows up to the trio. Old man and giant go to Lions Den, Hern picks up armor. (Thak Battlebeard)
Church and guild are close, Floa stays at church. Old man stores half gold at home. Old and ogre go to casino. Hern brings Floa dinner. Both go home.
Flo and Hern get knocked out, outside of church. Other play cards at casino.
Floa and Hern wake up in casino. Civilian accuses us of murder. Apparently Hern and old man escaped jail before. Old man and giant try to help. All get arrested. At hearing, Father, nice elf lady, speak on our behalf. Elf guard accuses Floa for lieing.
Before hanging, poor people cause distraction as we follow one to our stuff in an alley. Guards followed.
Defeated guards, but our elf friend saw. Level up to 5.

After fight, get shoved into sewers. Man comes out and tells us to use the Yellow door(?) and talk to people. Giant looks around left broken archway tunnel. Decide to stay straight. Go through the next left with arch. Another, T. Hear noise, follow noiseless path. Keep straight, dead end, continue on our right. Poop blades come out and hack open the giant. Turn around and continue towards right. Old-one sneaks forward down another T. Finds people behind door. We go to people at doorway. Find fancy bugbears. (Bobs and Earls Things and Stuff) They say they have a shiny sword in the crocodile pit. We bought a raft and paddles.
Left B+E’s with iron door to right, and water up to the left. We take raft to CROCODILE PIT. Giant gets bite, along with old man. We scare croc away and grab raft. Throw get in raft and giant falls. Hern jumps into water for sword. We wait as the giant jumps in to. Hern gets attacked underwater but Raingrim comes to help. Rain comes out first then a sword rises from the water. Yay Hyrn got da sword.

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Notes from 11/11/2014

11/11/2014
In the morning, the men ate breakfast, while I meditate. But as soon as the sun rises, the idiots find trouble. This time it was Ed to find a group of Bug Bears. Jim comes out swinging as he smashes into the bears face. Ed finds another one hiding in the bushes as some humans join the fight. After a quick fall of the ogre, we defeated most of them, while one gets away. What a great start to today. Ed went shopping for a magical dagger. The two oafs go out to get more armor. I try to look for a beach but with no avail. I decide to look for a church of Bahamut. I find one with an ancient Dragonborne priest. Father escorts me to the basement and tells me a lot of people have fallen with illness the past few months. I decide to assist them.

Floa:
A man bursts into the church asking for help. We help him, but guard (one who stabbed him) came asking for him. I decide to get him for the guard but decide against it. I lie to the guard but will release the man once he is healed I told father.

Hern and others:
After getting armor, decide to look for a fighters guild. They find the Lions Den. A woman elf welcomed them. The good woman brought us yummy wine. Sorcerer not welcome. Had to pay to enter. Hern wants to make better impression of Knolls. Try outs are at 7pm. Ask for earlier armor, but nope. Back to the den. Lady leads us downstairs. We can’t use weapons. That ok. Said something about Semore. Fight with Grimm. Ed bet on us, we must win. We ready to fight! Semore is hill giant. We in the rage cage. We punch him, but he punch harder. He charge us and Grimm goes down. I get a few more in before I’m knockouted.

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Notes from 10/25/2014

Open up door on upper library. Reveals to be bathroom with very frozen door. Old man tries to figure it out. Try to blast door with magical fire. It seemed to have worked, the door is now unfrozen. Hern slowly opens up door to very hot room of fiery inferno. Everyone dives into pool and wets themselves to cross the room. I refuse such nonsense and run through the room. A few burns are nothing for me. We run into a large open room. Large tentacle head in the room with 2 zombie dogs. Battle starts.

Ogre charges in first. Dog close behind him. Ed finishes of the dog with a blast. I try to heal the giant, but I end up attracting the Beholder. It sees me as a threat, finally, in the presence of something intelligent. Hern charges in at the Beholder. We finish off the dog as a ghost solider appears and attacks Hyrn. The Beholder plays with Ed and more ghost appear out. We were getting really down. I was missing, Hern was stuck, ogre was almost dead, and once again the creepy things want to make love with Ed. Finally a ghost was finished off. I was able to save ed who did surprising a lot of damage to the Behole. The two meat heads faught the ghost while Ed and I continue with Behold. Ed goes down as everyone is holding on by the skin of their teeth. I do my best to protect the fallen man. We pulled our greatest efforts to defeat sir Behole. It was Bahamut’s sacred flame that finally made the beast fell. All that remained was one more skeleton warrior.

We got to rest and it looked as if it was an underdeep cave. The window shows to be regular day. The behole left what seemed to be a symbol from his magical practices. The fire room had deafened. Visiting the portal room, it seemed to stabilized. Went back to talk to Derrel to tell him of the news of Behole, portal and no Delmar. Stated the crack in the orb is what let the Behole through. The windows seem regulated as well. We travel back to the Bailiff. We explained the situation to him and we all received 250 gold. We take the house and it goes in Ed’s name. I suppose he earned the destroyed and haunted mansion. Now we are room-mates. Joy.

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Mansion Mystery Murders My Mind
Can it be over yet? - by Floa

As usual, dog-brain is the one to find the bad stuff. After opening the door, he gets attacked by a strange blue creature with a tripod mouth. The ogre, now rushing to the scene, watches as the dog bashes the monster on the head. As soon as the hit connects, the creature blinks out of existence; or so it seemed. I headed over to bear witness to this strange site. As soon as I round the corner, I see a flash of blue appear next to the old-man, and then they were both gone. This creature was surely not of this world. Without another second to think of what had just happened, another scimitar slicing skeleton made it was down the hallway towards us. Having enough with these abominations for one day, I commanded the vile thing straight into Jim; who promptly smashed it accordingly.

Not a moment later, we see the senior citizen frantically run out the door into the creepy room and immediately start to fire crazed magic back into it. I decide to keep my focus on the Arabian skeleton and continue to fire Bahamut’s holy righteousness at it. Shards of the necrotic being begin to fly straight into the two meat-head’s faces, as my bombardment did not cease. It was Jim who did the final smashing and the abomination was pounded into the dust that it should have been all along. The wizard continues to frantically blast spells into the room he escaped from until the blue creature was a smolder on the floor.

Now that the “fun” was over, we continued with our investigation. The room smelly-one had found was very… off. Everything was tilted and uneven. Even with the evil infestation of the previous room, I was more discomforted by this room than any other. It was hard to tell, but the room seemed to be a simple guest room. It seemed to be raining outside this room’s window. The room where the mysterious blue-creature flashed wrinkles into looked to be an office. A scorching desert could be seen from this window. Whilst searching this room, we came across an “Amulet of Physical Resolve.” It seemed best to give it to the giant.

Continuing our look around this horrid place, we came across a door with many colored levers on it. Another door, leading to what we presumed was the same place as the lever door, was covered in traps. We attempted to think of how to open the colored door. Even though we had only spent the morning there, we seemed to have forgotten everything we had been through so far, so we had to do some backtracking to find a way to solve the door’s “puzzle.” After a few trial and errors, we were able to open the door by moving the black, red and brown levers with the mut only suffering minor injuries.

We ventured through the door to find a hallway. We walked through the doors on the right and came into what we believed to be the master bedroom. There was a mirror in the corner that did not look correct, which seemed very fitting for this haunted mansion of strange happenings. In the mirror we saw a severed head lying on the desk in the room, even though there was no head on the desk when we looked at it outside the mirror. The head remained in the mirror, until fuzz-ball stuck his big paw onto where the head seemed to be on the desk. The head “came to life” and began to talk to us. This seemed to be too much for the ogre as he had started to shout at us and the mirror. I guess he has finally lost the little mind he had. After a few questions, and once the giant calmed down a bit, we were able to learn that the head belonged to Dyrel Crackedstaff. He stated he had been practicing opening up portals to different dimensions and got stuck inside the mirror. His son, Delmar, seemed to be attempting the same witch-craft. To his suspicions, Delmar may have been successful seeing as how he was not familiar as to why there were teleporting tripod monsters in his house, along with most everything else. He asked us to bring him Delmar for questioning in return for some “valuable” information. With my patience leaning on its final bearings, Delmar should pray to his gods that we give him the chance to explain his sins.

Leaving the bodyless-wonder, we step into the room across the hallway. It is here where we find a huge, swirling, evil, clue that we have been searching for. A large, terrifying, yet stable portal to another dimension was open before us. It looked like a miniature tornado crashing atop of a carved portal sign with a small cracked orb lying beneath. Wanting absolutely nothing to do with this situation, we all decide to close the door and head up stairs.

Wanting this escapade to be over with, I decide to head up first. Much to my not-surprise, more “fun” awaited us in the library. Another blob was waiting for us, as well as two small but gruesome looking creatures. They attacked us. Hurray… With the smell of more battle, came the aloof ogre, practically skipping past us on the stairs to rush straight into battle. Snot-face joins him as they gang up and destroy the blob thoroughly. I am mildly, yet not-very much, impressed that they finally try to use battle-tactics that actually help our situation. Unfortunately, our “drunkest of wizards” becomes a target again as the disgusting tentacle creatures capture him and teleport him around the room. I suppose drunk elderly men are favored in the dimension these bastardized creations come from. The two smaller ones fall quickly, as the bigger one, who had joined the fight later, continues to reign down its psychic attacks of horror and slimy tentacles of repulsiveness. The duo meat-heads decided to flank. The ogre does a fantastic wind up just to miss his target and fly off the top of the story. He falls while shouting, “FLOA!” I couldn’t help but giggle as the fumbling ballerina gracefully lands on his face after his devastating 3 foot fall. He then proceeds to scramble back up and bash the hentai monster for a killing blow. It seems like Jim just enjoys a show once and awhile.

We leave off here in the library, having to take a short breather before continuing on.

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